Yesterday marked my busiest blog day yet. I need one of those things that tells me where all you people are coming from. fMH and a google search account for two visitors. The remaining 44 are a mystery.
Speaking of mysteries, my gynecologist also considered my stabby/bleedy symptoms in my cyst-free uterus highly suspicious of pregnancy. Telling me to just wait and see. Curse her for getting my hopes up again, because I just wasted a perfectly good paper cup on some hCG-free urine. Sometimes I wonder if I am just deluding myself into feeling twinges when I got another sharp, sustained, undeniable stabbing pain last night while in bed.
But I’m not pregnant. Noooope.
Anyway, on a lighter note, I’ve been able to recommend Bonk, by Mary Roach, to every health care professional I’ve seen. It’s so freakin hilarious. Appropriately enough, today I read about gynecology. Only of the ancient variety. Basically ancient medicine involved making stuff up and calling it fact. For example, the ancient Greeks invented an affliction called “womb fury” or female hysteria of young widows who retain their seed which corrupts “and sends up filthy vapors to the brain.” The cure is, of course, genital manipulation.
Mary Roach goes on, saying that essentially clitoral stimulation to cure hysteria happened as late as the “first half of the twentieth century.” Doctors and nurses would manually manipulate their patients until orgasm. But they SOMEHOW did not recognize it as such. Vibrator manufacturers came on the scene to make the doctor’s job more easy,and now you can get a vibrator at any drug store.
“When vibrator manufacturers finally came out with home models, the ads were predicably opaque. While some made oblique refernces to the devices’ true charms (“makes you fairly tingle with the joy of living”), most dispersed a smoke screen of vague health claims. Others ventured deep into the ludicrous. . . an ad from 1916 showing a woman with a vibrator held up to her cheek, the caption claiming that the device would “bring social and business success.” A pair of star Vibrators were advertised in 1922 as “Such Delightful Companions! Perfect for weekend trips,” as though they would serve up witty repartee and spell you at the wheel.”
So there you have it. Vibrators.