Urination Rumination

Good morning everyone. It’s 5 am and I’ve been up since my bi-nightly trip to the loo at 4. Oyvey.

I wake up to pee at least once per night. This is only a slight uptick from my pre-pregnant life when I woke up to pee almost every night anyway. But now, I have no ability to fall back asleep. My mind is too active, and I suppose I have a lot more to think about nowadays/nights.  Every night since we found out I’m pregnant it’s been like this. I wish my excitement would manifest itself at another time of day because I’m quickly growing cranky.

Perhaps someday I will get used to the idea that I’m pregnant. Until then I am awake thinking about who to choose for a provider, whether or not to get a doula, wondering what my insurance will cover, and wondering whether my husband will get the job he applied for last month.

I have thoughts about the nursery and how pedestrians on our busy street will probably wake up the baby, and therefore resigning myself to moving.

I think about venue–the idea of a hospital makes me cringe, but I don’t really like the nurse midwife birth center either because you get whoever is on call.

And intermixed with thoughts of baby and pregnancy, I am positively haunted by thoughts about whether Castle and Beckett will get together next season. I am NOT okay with how they ended this season. Not. Okay.

In other, happier, news, I am 5 weeks along today and I’m getting a second blood test this afternoon too see how my hCG levels are rising. So far, so good. On Tuesday I was up to 357 mIU which is right on track. Hooray!

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2 thoughts on “Urination Rumination

  1. Solution: a Stadium Pal for women.

    No, really. It sucks to worry about all the details. And indisputably, they are legion.

    One leg up you have if you do end up using your OB versus the nurse midwives is that she was a midwife before. She’s presumably seen natural childbirth before and she knows how to let that happen. You also stick to your guns when something is important to you. If you end up birthing in the hospital, you CAN and WILL say no to any interventions that aren’t 100% medically necessary.

    If you end up with the CNM clinic, I doubt if you will end up birthing with a complete stranger. You can make sure that you schedule an appointment with all the midwives at least once so you’ve had a chance to meet them all. It’s not a perfect solution, but it’s better than nothing. It’s the situation we faced before we switched to Rebecca. All the midwives were really competent and kind. I totally understand not being satisfied with that situation, though.

    It will be OK. I can’t help you with your dissatisfaction with Castle, as I don’t partake myself—but the rest of the stuff, it will be OK. You can switch providers if you need to. You can move. You can make your current situation work (behold the wonders of the baby white noise machine). You will figure it out and I have every confidence in you.

    If you feel like being disturbed as well as distracted, Google pictures of the current development phase of your unborn child. Those early weeks after implantation aren’t precisely highlights in infant attractiveness.

    (I kid. I kid. Well, not about the creature looking bizarre, but about the advisability of Googling such images.)

    Keep your chin up and consider a mid-day nap.

  2. The CNM birth center is brand new and they went to great pains making it an awesome place all except the tiny, tiny bathtubs. And the only thing that sounds acceptable to me right now is a water birth.

    The CPM birth center has a huge tub but it’s not right next to the hospital (it is, however 11 minutes away on foot). Maybe I’m not giving the CPMs their due, but I’m worried that I might be in better hands in case of an emergency with a CNM.

    But ultimately, examining them both, they’re both really safe options. It’s just the nagging “what if?” that gets me. And the fact is, you’re not guaranteed to be alive and well at the end of a hospital visit either.

    Le sigh.

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