Boobs of All Sorts.

Hi internet. Since I’ve quit the doctor’s, there’s not much to report. I’m not entirely convinced that I’m pregnant or that I will ACTUALLY have a baby in 7 months. It feels like I’m in limbo. I’m still spotting off and on, but I figure I must still be pregnant because 1) I’m occasionally nauseous (though it’s really mild, thank heaven) and  2) I have video game character breasts. They’re….enormous. And painful. So DON’T TOUCH THEM OR HUG ME OR I’LL KILL YOU!  I’m Lara Croft. So you know I will….

But the number one symptom that convinces me I’m pregnant is that I am so ridiculously tired all. the. time. I find myself feeling exceptionally proud if I can accomplish 2 things a day.  My house is a disaster. My work is suffering. My bodily hygiene is poor. It makes no sense how something so small can cause me to be so weak, so sleepy.

The sea monkey is developing fingers this week. I guess that takes a lot of energy? I dunno.  Baby Center isn’t as illuminating as I had hoped. But it is frequently hilarious. Yesterday I got hate mail from a woman telling me I did not properly use the word “ironic” when I made fun of her. She could not tell me why my use was improper, but she was sure of it even after I wrote decent defense of my usage. It stopped being fun after she refused to see reason.

I know my previous post was about my wish to avoid controversy. But it’s difficult to do online. Especially when people are so easily offended. Like today, someone on the group complained that the “baby of the day” photo was shown while breastfeeding. HEAVEN FORBID! Then she argued that breastfeeding is similar to going to the bathroom. Because they’re both natural and private. So, she’s a boob. I won’t even begin to talk about the defensive attitudes encountered in yesterday’s circumcision post. But if you’re interested, I took careful notes and tallies.

And I know you’re dying to see what I look like two months pregnant, so here it is:

One thought on “Boobs of All Sorts.

  1. I’m not sure that there’s a specific answer for first trimester malaise and fatigue, only that it bloody well exists. Believe me, I tried every message board and baby-related website between this end of creation trying to find solutions to the absurd fatigue.

    I realize my anecdotal experience is somewhat useless to you as a definitive source of truth and enlightenment. Take it for what it’s worth. For me, the sensation of boobs that felt they had been scored with the jagged edge of a broken bottle DID go away. Their Lara Croftness? Not so much. It was a bizarre and somewhat unsettling day when my belly was sufficiently large to serve as a shelf for my bosoms. No, really. It’s just weird.

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