So Long, Symptoms

It’s amazing how quickly my pregnancy symptoms and tendencies left me.  Even when I was having contractions, I wasn’t convinced that I was really miscarrying until I noticed that my boobs were no longer sore.  It was a sad realization.  But there have been some positives:

For example, I can’t believe that the frequent urination is such a real symptom even in early pregnancy, but it is. The last time I woke up to pee was miscarriage night. For the 2.5 months before then, it had been once or twice nightly. I do not miss this symptom. Especially since waking up means remembering what happened. Sigh. Can’t wait for that to stop.

My possessiveness has decreased. I had extreme food possessiveness during pregnancy. Now? Maybe it’s just the depression talking, but I couldn’t care less if you had some of my food. With the exception of my pint of Chubby Hubby purchased for mourning purposes. My husband does not miss this symptom. And frankly, I’m amazed that I did not gain more weight while pregnant.

My boobs have shrunk. And lets face it, they were a little absurd and I really didn’t want to buy a new bikini or maternity bras. So it’s probably for the best.

My stomach has also shrunk. Though no one else could tell, I could tell that I was starting to show. And as I look at my Seattle pictures, I can see a visible difference between day 1 and day 4. My body is returning to normal. It’s really weird.

I have much more energy despite my depression. I even exercised today. Hooray!

One symptom that remains is my food aversions. In pregnancy I couldn’t stand smoked foods. Even though I normally love them. It seems that really smoky foods are still on the no list. I don’t get it. But there’s a whole psychology behind food aversions that defies normal logic and took an entire day of pysch 303 to explain. Just trust me on this one.

I’ve stopped being queasy. Which means I purchased way, way too many juice concentrates and saltine crackers.

My miscarriage symptoms are also declining. My bleeding has slowed considerably. I haven’t had cramps since Saturday. I’m getting less depressed every day (with lapses occurring when well meaning relatives suggest that the miscarriage was for the best because maybe I “wasn’t ready”). I’m starting to make plans for fun. I’m starting to make plans for next time. I think I’m starting to heal.

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2 thoughts on “So Long, Symptoms

  1. The sheer number of stupidly heartless-but-well-meaning things that people say in response to miscarriage simply boggles the mind. (For us the most common was, “At least you know you can get pregnant now!” grrrrr)

    I am glad that you are starting to heal and I wish you a calm, peaceful recovery process. Much love.

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