Easier than what?

“But you were worried about this pregnancy from the beginning.”

Yes, yes I was. Pointing this fact out as if it should be some consolation makes me sob at night.  It wasn’t easier just because I had been spotting since the vaginal ultrasound. It wasn’t easier because I spent hours obsessing over medical journals to read about the stats on bleedy pregnancies. It wasn’t easier because I talked to my sister, who had a perfectly healthy baby and bled the whole time. I spent so much time trying to convince myself that I was okay and relying on what I stupidly thought were responses from God that the baby was okay that NO. It’s was not easier to see it go.

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4 thoughts on “Easier than what?

  1. GAH! Minimizing is NOT ok. I don’t get why people think that they can somehow make a situation better by trying to spin something positively when the situation just outright sucks. Don’t minimize someone else’s grief. Don’t judge someone for not responding to the situation the same way you think you would or the way you think they should.

    My most painful comment: “But Heavenly Father DID answer your prayers. You DID get pregnant.”

    Also, subsequent miscarriages are not easier than the first time around. In fact, since the percentage of people who miscarry consecutively is much lower than with first pregnancies, it stands to reason that subsequent miscarriages would be worse than the first.

    Gosh people. Think before you speak. Is it really too much to ask?

  2. *splutter* Did someone actually say that to you? No! That does NOT make it easier. That just means that 1) you spent more time worrying and 2) your paranoia will be fueled next time. Argh. People say really stupid things. I’m going to stand by my first response here: *splutter*

  3. I’ll take this moment to go ahead and apologize to you on behalf of all the knobs out there who say idiotic things. You shouldn’t have to go through that on top of everything. I’m really sorry, Maret.

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