The Breakup

I was all scheduled to discuss my latest greatest miscarriage with the old doctor at the crap office. The day before my appointment, a nurse called to tell me that my doctor has decided to end our physician-patient relationship because she is uncomfortable working with me. Sigh.

The facts were these: I was billed for two ultrasounds on one day. I paid for one. I called billing again and again and no one would explain it. I finally called insurance. Insurance suggested I write a letter about why I feel I should only be charged for one ultrasound. I did. The bills for the second ultrasound stopped, but it was months and months later when I finally got dumped. I guess this makes financial sense from their perspective–I complained. I am therefore uppity and not worth dealing with. It also makes good relationship sense–though I didn’t know it at the time, my letter, which I thought was directed at the billing department and the ultrasound tech, was coded to my physician, and incidentally, the only person I respected at that stupid office. Deserved or not, it made her look bad.

I can’t describe how weirdly rejected and awful it feels to have your doctor break up with you. But let me put it this way–she is one of three individuals who has seen my adult vagina. And she has found me and my vagina wanting.

On the other hand, it’s good in that it forces me to get out of a toxic environment. That office was full of rude people who consistently made mistakes. Now I’m doctor shopping. Insurance pointed me to a few providers who aren’t in the UltraMegaGlobalCorp and I’m visiting one next week.  There is another doc I’d love to try, but he’s scheduled out until March. I am very concerned that this letter of mine will create some sort of black mark on my medical records. They wouldn’t make a Seinfeld episode about it if it didn’t ever happen.

So I guess if I had to identify my current doctor it would be a toss up between my chiropractor and my acupuncturist*. My acupuncturist just prescribed me some Chinese herbal medicine which should balance my Qi or something. It tastes something like Top Ramen minus the salt and flavor. However one of the herbs tastes like butt, so I bought gel capsules from the apothecary (yes, we have an apothecary) and now I get to make my own herb pills while watching TV. I get such a kick out of this, I feel like I’m a witch or Dr. Quinn or something.


*Every time I talk about my acupuncturist I think of Mulan’s ancestors saying, “Well we can’t ALL be acupuncturists!”



8 thoughts on “The Breakup

  1. What did the letter say? What could possibly blacklist you? I’m so curious. Seriously, a good doctor makes WORLDS of difference. I hope you find one that suits you and your insurance, as both are important. Good luck!

  2. Lame. Lame-o. Lame-a-roni. Seriously, being dumped by a doctor must feel like the ultimate rejection. Being refused goods and/or services for any reason sucks, and you weren’t the one who made the mistake here.

    I second Allie’s wishes for you. The only consolation I have to offer you at this point is that we’re coming to see you in a couple of months.

  3. I doubt she found your vagina wanting. If that is any comforting. Most people hate confrontation, and who knows what is going on in her personal or professional life that made her choose the way she did. It was months and months after the letter. For all you know she has some reason for not feeling up to infertility patients, or her case load is overloaded or she had grief from her staff even if she personally got along okay with you. You might be right, it might have everything to do with the letter. But you might be wrong, in which case don’t take it too hard. And if it IS personal, well you’re an assertive person who will always contest things you see as unfair. That is who you are. So if she does not think your personalities would mesh well, better to know that now than as you go through this difficult and unhappy process. You want someone who can really have your back so to speak, and it is probably better that she acknowledges NOW that she doesn’t think she can do that, rather than fake nice but secretly not have good feelings.

    I don’t know if this was helpful. Rejection sucks. Good luck finding a doctor. You may end up having to go with MegaUltraOneBigCorp.

    Did you go to the offices by Autzen Stadium? Because I had bad experiences there with everyone, except my Gyno, whom I love, but people online don’t all feel the same.

    • You don’t understand. I don’t have a choice to go back to UltraMegaGlobalCorp (the one by Autzen). They said the women’s center *will not* work with me and they said yes, it was because of the letter. They also said lots of really horrible things like me accusing my doctor of fraud–which I did not do. I really thought my letter was diplomatic. It’s just not going to work.

  4. Is women’s care part of OML? Their office is off [redacted]? My Bishop is part of that group and while part of me would be pretty uncomfortable having that man know me inside and out in TWO ways, I can honestly say that if he WEREN’T my bishop I’d definitely want him delivering my babies. He is just an incredibly warm, loving, open-minded, gentle, good man. [redacted]. I thought that they just broke off from MegaCorp to form their own practice, but I could be wrong. You’d probably be better than I at telling from the website, but I think they are accepting new patients.

    I didn’t know you could get blackballed from the gynecologists in town. yikes!

  5. This whole scenario is disgusting. Since when do doctors break up with patients unless they are closing their practice? This totally sucks, but like Em said, you want a doctor that is on your team, not someone who obviously doesn’t give a darn. Also, I don’t even care that Brant Cooper was our bishop, I would totally have him deliver our babies, he is so awesome. You would love him, I know it. Try to check that out.

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