Weeeeellllll. I might have lied when I said I had no intuition on the matter of baby’s sex. I’ve been calling it “he” since I knew I was pregnant. I also spent a lot of time trying to talk myself out of it because it MIGHT have been true. And then what? I think I just need to admit it–I’m a little terrified of having a he-beast in my life.
Neither Logan nor I had brothers growing up. I finally got a brother just two years before I left for college–and he’s awesome, BUT he has about 20 Nerf guns. I’m not totally sure how that’s relevant, but it’s true, and indicative of the fact that boys are, well…different. And it’s probably mostly due to commercials and media and the cultural conditioning, and only a little bit due to testosterone. (Also, can I just say right now, that I am growing a penis. A PENIS! And what’s worse–TESTICLES inside my body. Weird. Weird. Weird.)
And it’s weird not necessarily in a bad way at all. Weird in a completely foreign, but not so foreign way. Like how I was excited to travel to London for 2 months, but also kinda freaking out because they eat beans on toast for breakfast, everything costs more, they’ve never heard of free ketchup packets, and I had no idea how to travel by tube. It’s totally the same thing. No one forced me to eat beans on toast, I survived spending $4 per single-serving yogurt, and the tube is BETTER than all forms of American transportation. Really, the only thing I couldn’t cope with about London was the ketchup packets.
Also, I developed a theory that boys end up a lot like their dads. And there is no guy on the planet more lovable than my husband. So. I can be good with this. I can do this. And to counteract all the violent, male-entitlement bullcrap he will be exposed to, I will take him to musicals and read him feminist poetry, and ensure that he knows that dance skills are of the utmost importance. My determination to expose my children to “opposite gendered” activities could actually be a really good excuse to do all the girly things I love.
I just hope he’s happy and nerdy.
As for myself, I’ll miss the the much, much, much better clothing options presented for baby girls, and lament the fact that every boy thing has trucks and sports on it. For truly (like the lack of ketchup packets in London), this is the only downside to having a boy.