22 Weeks, Cravings and Crankies

Okay, so we skipped last week after your pitiful lack of comments which means my ego has only now recovered in time to do a 22 week post. But seriously, I’ve been insanely busy here and there and everywhere, but it’s been good. Time has been flying. 

But I almost wish it wouldn’t because it’s pretty great time pregnancy-wise. I feel fabulous. I have a noticeable baby belly that would be difficult to confuse with a spare tire. OH! And you should see my rack. There are only two words: Anime. Boobs.

The baby is wiggly all the time now, and will even show off for friends and family. Except mom. Despite the layers of skin, fat, placenta, and fluid, her hands are still too cold. The boy is getting tall–he’s as long as a spaghetti squash or a papaya (?) but only weighs a pound. EES SO WEETLE!

So the only downside to this particular time in pregnancy is that I can go from full to starving in an instant. It’s unlike any hunger I’ve ever felt before. It’s gnawing and immediate and unforgiving and all-consuming. When it hits, my mental functioning ceases until you put something in me. 

I’ve been asked whether I’ve had any weird pregnancy cravings, and the answer is still no. I like the same awesome foods I liked before pregnancy. I have particularly enjoyed sweet eggy breakfast foods like german pancakes, french toast, and the like. I guess one specific craving I have had was for the Schwan’s French Toast Sticks I used to eat when I was a kid. But aparently this craving is not unusual to pregnancy in any way–when I mentioned it to my sisters, they were just as fixated upon procuring some as I was. They cost less than I thought they did: order some HERE: http://www.schwans.com/products/productdetail.aspx?id=61235

I am also a little more prone to be cranky and hormonal. I spent the first trimester feeling so wretched that I didn’t have much time to be bitchy. Now I’m travelling and working and interacting with so many people each day, it’s inevitable that one of them will piss me off. I’m typically able to see that I’m being irrational (no really), but the following things will incur my remorseless pregnant wrath:

–Touching my belly without asking. I think in general, even when not pregnant, I give off a major “don’t fuck with me” vibe, so this hasn’t been much of a problem. But just in case it ever becomes one, I’m giving fair warning that I cannot be held responsible for what might follow.

–Know-it-alls. People who know everything are bad. But in pregnancy? Intolerable. Particularly when a male wants to tell me what is (or what he thinks SHOULD be) happening in my body. Unless you have the letters, “OB-GYN” after your name, consider the letters, “STFU” to be there instead, kay?

–Doomsday Prophets. The people who follow any innocuous comment I make related to pregnancy or children or work or really anything with “Just you wait” and a sickening frown-smile.

“Oh, you think being a lawyer is hard, well JUST YOU WAIT until you’re a MOM and your kid is pooping quarters and smearing boogers on the wall!”

“Oh your back hurts, well JUST YOU WAIT until next month, and you’ll be PRAYING to have a backache like the one you’re having now.”

“Oh you’re going out for a nice evening with your husband? WELL SAY GOODBYE TO THOSE DAYS because you’ll never have any fun or sleep or sex ever again!”

“Oh you think that feeling your baby wiggle inside you is the most magical thing you’ve ever felt and it brings tears to your eyes to think how lucky you are that you get to feel that? WELL JUST WAIT UNTIL HE’S BRUISING YOUR RIBS AND TEARING YOUR BODY INSIDE OUT!”

etc, etc.

Anyway, what’s up with you guys?

9 thoughts on “22 Weeks, Cravings and Crankies

  1. Just working. Not pregnant, but also not trying to be. 🙂 Your blog has inspired me to write one of my own, giving fair warning to the world about topics which may cause me to maim people. Good plan!
    Anyways, love you!

  2. I’m really glad I got to feel that bar of Theo’s chocolate inside of you kick me. That was special. 🙂 We miss you guys again already but will see you soon!

  3. Ah, the hunger. I distinctly remember getting angry at my husband one time when he wasn’t helping decide what to have for dinner and i was SOOO HUNGRY and needed to eat ASAP. And he was like, Emily, we just had lunch 4 hours ago. And I said, is that not a normal amount of time between meals?

    Just you wait until your body starts making this boy’s food. Haha, kidding! just wanted to get a just you wait in there. But really, breastfeeding hunger’s pretty crazy too. I guess I’ve been starving for the last 15 months…

    I was terrified of the unsolicited bellytouching but it never really happened, and I was working with the general public my whole pregnancy. So maybe you’ll make it through untouched.

  4. This post cracked me up. Oh man, the HUNGER. I haven’t transitioned into the extreme hunger moments yet with this pregnancy, but I well remember them from my first pregnancy. There were a few times, especially on dates when it was taking too long to get to the restaurant or get the food, and I just needed food NOW… and it was not pretty. I think it looked like a mood swing to Mark, and there is just no way to explain how bad you need food at those moments.

    I didn’t get unwanted belly touching last time, thank goodness, but plenty of servings of doomsday warnings. Not appreciated. I’m hoping it’s not even worse this time, with people saying, “OH JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU HAVE TWO… mwahaha.” Ugh.

    Yay for 22 weeks! Second trimester is glorious, isn’t it?

  5. Oh, the absolute absurd hunger. It’s the weirdest thing. I know I taxed the limits of even my very compassionate husband’s ability to grasp the weirdo shit the is pregnancy.

    As for what’s going on, I’m working and knitting an adorably soft blanket for baby Boris. We’re excited to see you in a couple of months.

  6. It use to tick me off when people told me , “sleep now, because you won’t ever get to later.” It especially ticked me off when it came from people who didn’t have any children. I’s like those people who thought they were well rehearsed enough to give you marriage advice when you were newlyweds even though they were only married a couple months before you were.

  7. 22 weeks already?! You grow that baby! 🙂 As for the hunger, I remember that with pregnancy, and it continued for me with nursing-I used to eat whole packages of graham crackers during a night feeding. Why graham crackers? I have no clue!

    I like to refer that the attitude associated with being hungry as “Hangry”. I get so hungry that I’m angry. Yours is worse because you have crazy hormones rushing through you as well. But don’t worry, you have an excuse-I however just look like a jerk.

    I have been looking for cute baby things to get you, and it’s fun having a reason to shop in the baby section again. Let me know when you have a baby registry and I will try to get you something you actually want. 😉 (along with something I feel is funny/inappropriate-like pee-pee teepees. http://www.bebabean.com/pee-pee-teepee/)

  8. This cracked me up! I’m just entering the 2nd trimester, yay! I’m starting to feel like my normal self. I am never hungry, but I eat because I have to. So I guess I’ll just have to wait until I must eat to fill my rampaging stomach 🙂 I haven’t had anyone touch my stomach, but I have had the dooms day prophets. Those people just wait until I slap them….

  9. Hahaha, I hated hated hated hated hated when people said, “just you wait” followed by something annoying. Or, when I was getting impatient and ready for him to be here, and people would say, “he’s a lot easier to take care inside of you than outside…”. Oh really? Thanks, idiot. Said by the woman with four kids…clearly it can’t be that bad or you wouldn’t keep having them.

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