Since we last corresponded, dear reader, I have had a raucous time. My husband has gone above and beyond in his attempts to distract me, and by and large, they’ve worked. On Tuesday we went shopping and he let me dress him like a Ken doll at various Christmas sales. On Wednesday we went to the wave pool. I know my friends in Hawaii are going to be pretty jealous over that one.
On Thursday, the day I decided would be most convenient for me to have the child, I did not, in fact have the child. I had my last midwife appointment, though, and they could tell I was completely demoralized. I poured my hormonal pregnant heart out and they allayed many of my concerns. I asked them to check to see if it was even possible to sweep membranes, and I wasn’t even dilated yet. I was an unhappy camper.
We went home and I decided that since I was sure to miss Christmas, I had to find some way to fit a tree in our tiny, tiny house. I spent the day cheerlessly lounging, fitfully napping, and decorating the tree. Husband spent the day trying mightily to cheer me up and smack some sense into me. I spent a half hour on the breast pump, attempting to coax a contraction. Nothin. Not even a twinge. Went to bed late.
I woke up at 5:40 AM today (the day the world ends) to a gush of water. Pretty much no mistaking it, my water had broken. But I didn’t have contractions yet. We waited half an hour before calling my poor, sleeping midwife to let her know. She advised me to get some sleep, and that contractions would probably start within 24 hours.
By 7:00 AM I had 5 contractions 5 minutes apart lasting almost 90 seconds. My iPhone app informed me this was near the active labor zone, but I was suspicious. So I took a shower, and sure enough, they died down to 10 minutes, then 15, then 20. I was back to sleeping for another hour or so while my husband prepped our house for birthin’.
I woke up to a few more contractions, but around 10 AM they stopped. I know labor can start and stop, and I didn’t want to spend all day waiting for it. So, I donned my adult diaper and bravely ventured to to the chiropractor to be adjusted. We continued on to Target to buy what I justified as “last-minute supplies” but what ended up being pretty much whatever impulse purchase I wanted including a table cloth, a Twix bar, and an entire honey glazed ham. [We didn’t get a picture of it, so this is where you imagine me 9.5 months pregnant and leaking amniotic fluid, waddling down the aisle with a suspiciously puffy butt, a ham under one arm and a Twix bar in another.]
And so it continued. I would get a contraction about once an hour until about 4:00 PM. I ate, then napped. Then walked, then napped. Then watched Curb Your Enthusiasm. Then napped. I’m kinda annoyed that this show isn’t getting on the road, but when your membranes break before you’re in REAL labor, it’s pretty normal. I’m low risk for infection, and I’m comfortable. We have a while yet before we need to get serious about moving this thing along.
Contractions are back and around 15 minutes apart. So….in 13 hours I’ve advanced from early labor to…early labor later in the day. I have to say that they’re SO MUCH WORSE when I’m resting on the couch or in bed. So that’s why I’m on the birthin’ ball writing you. I barely notice them against the ever-present lower back pain.
Anyhow, that’s the update. For a labor day (take 1), this is one of the most restful I can imagine. Wish for me to be more uncomfortable, more frequently, and hopefully this kid can be born on 12/21/12.
For those of you interested in stats, my blood pressure is good. Temperature is 98.2 (normal for me). Baby’s heart rate is at his normal 130 bpm, and while he’s somewhat less active than he was a few days ago, he’s still moving and kicking me. We’re not doing any cervical checks or vaginal exams at this time to reduce the risk of infection, but let’s assume I’m less than a 3 and more than a 1. Yesterday, baby was at -1 station, hopefully he’s improving upon that now. I’m staying hydrated, eating frequently, and feeling happy hormones like some kind of drug.