Last week we drove to hours to meet My first nephew. Bear wasn’t font of the car ride. During the second hour of driving, I hopped in the back seat and hovered over his car seat to nurse him. I think it worked only because my nursing boobs are preposterous and he was highly motivated.

It was so fun to see my little nephew and to take pictures of our baby cousins–born just three months apart. Cousin is such a lightweight compared to bear. I felt like I could juggle three of him. He’s so sweet and squishy. I missed my newborn for a second. There is something wonderful about holing up in your house for months with a gooey little baby and just existing. But then those sleepless nights will get you.

I feel like I was pretty lucky in those early weeks. Though my body was very injured, we got nursing pretty well and he would routinely sleep 4 hour stretches–just frequently enough for me to feel human. I remember deciding I would take a shower every day. Most if the time I would bring Bear in to hang out on a blanket on the floor. Sometimes he would hang out with my husband. Sometimes he would have to cry for a 5 minute rinse off. But dang it, I got my shower. It’s those little things that made me feel normal and like I could exist as a human milk machine and 24/7 snuggler.

Sometime around week 5 we figured out that naps did not necessarily have to take place on my body. And my world changed.

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